


Rumor Has It

by CardamomDaydream



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, M/M, Multi, POV Outsider, Podfic Available, everyone is bi, geralt has two hands, heterosexual nonsense? in my witcher? it's less likely than you think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:47:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22283611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CardamomDaydream/pseuds/CardamomDaydream
Summary: The school staff can't help but wonder about Ciri's stupidly hot parents.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Jaskier | Dandelion/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Comments: 130
Kudos: 3777
Collections: Outsider & Alternative POVs, Read, The Whitcher to reread, To reread: Polyamory





	Rumor Has It

Cirilla joins Oxenfurt Elementary at the start of 1st grade. She was a shy, quiet girl, but showed a great interest in learning. Overall she was a wonderful student and her teacher, Ms. Joan, didn’t hesitate to brag about her on occasion in the teacher's lounge. 

However, when it came to Ciri the thing most talked about by the staff were her parents. The two of them were undeniably **hot.** Ms. Joan was the first to meet Ciri’s mother, Yennefer, at orientation. The woman had strolled in wearing a pantsuit with a neckline so deep Ms. Joan had to wonder if it was custom made. (The staff later learned Yennefer did in fact own a great number of custom pantsuits. Emmerich, the naive student teacher from class 1B, had asked where she got them, and been handed a business card for a top fashion designer in Novigrad.) 

Ms. Joan was used to parent’s being deeply invested in their child’s education, in fact she preferred it that way. Yet, she had never met a parent quite like Yennefer, who demanded a full outline of her syllabus, the school’s policy on bullying and a run through of their security measures. She had actually been quite worried Yennefer would pull the girl from school, finding something not up to her standards, but on the first day of class Yennefer arrived with Ciri clinging to her leg. 

Though she tried not to pry, the woman’s comforting words of encouragement could still be heard through the open door of Ms. Joan’s room and she watched as the imposing mother carefully dried the girls tears and hugged her tightly. When Ciri finally took a resolved breath and made her way to her seat, Ms. Joan couldn’t help but look on with a soft smile. She turned at the clearing of a throat to see Yennefer standing behind her.

She briefly wondered how the woman got her eyeliner so perfect. 

“She’ll eat anything she can find, just a warning.” was all Yennefer said. Joan must’ve given her a puzzled look because she repeated, “Ciri. She’ll eat whatever she can find outside, gets it from her father.” With that she turned and began walking away, thin heels clicking against the linoleum floors. It only took one Google search to find Yennefer was very high up in politics, though no one could figure out exactly what her position was. 

For the next three days Cirilla would be dropped off in the morning by Yennefer, or more specifically an unseen driver in a sleek black car and Yennefer. The mother would exit the passenger side door, give Ciri a kiss, and wave her off. Teachers and staff alike would find any excuse to be in the front office during the mornings, hoping to catch a glimpse. Rumor spread quickly that she was a hitman for the government, using her divine good looks to seduce her mark before slitting their throats. Margo, the librarian, said she must be a witch employed by the Cintran government to control the weather. Some calmly suggested she stop reading so many fantasy books.

On the fourth day of class everyone in the front office head’s turned, as a rumbling and gaudy monstrosity of a van came to a lurching halt in front of the school. The paint was faded, but the word “Nightingale” could still be read clearly on the side along with a mural of yellow flowers and swirling birds. Stepping from the driver’s side door was an equally garish man, dressed in what would later be described by Mr. Delvin from the art room as “a crime against color-theorists and vests alike.” They all watched as he stepped to the side of the vehicle, and slid open the side door with a flourish and bow, before taking Ciri’s hand and helping her step out onto the sidewalk below. She giggled as he scooped her up and twirled her around, pressing fast kisses to the side of her face. The two waved at each other as Ciri ran into the front doors. When Tyrielle, the head office secretary, poked her head out and asked Ciri who the man was she simply answered, “My Dad.” and ran off toward her hall. It was Dee, the secretarial assistant, who found Nightingale online only a few seconds later, though it wasn’t hard. Julian Alfred Pankratz, better known as Jaskier or his stage name Dandelion, was an established and well known folk rock singer from the band “Nightingale” as well as a guest professor at the nearby Oxenfurt University. The van wasn’t even out of the drive before his spotify had been shared among the entire staff. 

Mrs. Jellid from the 4th grade wing nearly fainted when she heard THE Nightingale was at their school, and brought in her entire collection of cds and records to show off to the rest of the staff. One week later she quite literally fainted when she caught him at the front desk and he happily offered to sign each and every one. Mrs. Jellid always was quite dramatic everyone agreed, but it did not stop a few of them from also approaching the man and letting him know how much they loved his work. So, the not really mystery of Cirilla’s parents was solved, and everyone agreed they were quite an attractive pair. While no one went out of their way to do so, if they happened to catch a glimpse of either of them in the morning it was always considered a bit of a treat. 

Of course, drama and rumors were common place in the school, as with any job, and quick chats by the copier or in the teacher's lounge helped to spread conversation fast. Talks about students who had been causing trouble, a hilarious email exchange with an overbearing parent, and complaints about the new math requirements all helped carry the staff through their day to day. Yet, as the school year pressed on, somehow the conversation always seemed to turn back to Cirilla’s equally hot and equally confusing parents. How had the stern and serious Yennefer fallen for the lighthearted Jaskier? Did Yennefer have a wild side she hid? Levy from the janitorial staff found out Jaskier came from a rather well-to-do family and started the rumor it was a marriage for political power on Yennefer’s part. They also never dropped Ciri off together and some began to wonder if they were even married, if Ciri was the product of a short lived tryst or one night stand. Ms. Joan shook her head at any of the gossip saying she didn’t care about Cirilla’s potentially nontraditional family life, but that she was a happy and smart young girl. She did have one or two of Nightingale’s songs saved to her phone, as she had to admit they were really quite catchy. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s only Tyrielle and Mr. Grants in the front office a few weeks into the school year, when the familiar black car pulled to a stop outside. Classes had started several minutes ago and so most of the staff was occupied, meaning they were the only two to see an unfamiliar figure step from the driver’s seat. It was never the driver who got out, only ever Yennefer elegantly slipping from the passenger door. Their jaws dropped as a mountain of a man stepped from the car, simple black shirt and pants clung to him and white hair toppled over his shoulders. He looked as though he had stepped off the cover of Men’s Health and a trashy viking romance novel all in one. He opened the side door and Ciri hopped out, taking his hand and leading him into the school. Tyrielle could not help but stare as the man silently filled in Ciri’s late slip before giving her a soft pat on the head, and a quiet “Have fun at school.” before he left. As the doors swung shut behind him the secretary slowly turned in her chair and let out a quiet hiss of a scream at Mr. Grants because just _WHO IN THE HELL WAS THAT!_

  
  


“You don’t think…” said Mr. Grants.

“No, she couldn’t’ve.” said Tyrielle.

It took exactly 2 hours and 14 minutes for every member of staff to hear about the mysterious man who had dropped Ciri off at school and the reigning theory was that Yennefer had fucked her driver. It made sense, Ciri shared the fair complexion and white hair with that of her mother’s driver and thinking on it she really didn’t look like Jaskier at all. Fink from counselling quietly added she really didn’t look much like Yennefer either, but was quickly shushed. Oh the foolish musician, forced to raise a child that isn’t even his own, how tragic!

It took an additional 16 minutes for Mikel, the school nurse, to decipher the scrawled name on the sign in slip. Geralt. No last name. Google was no help, though they thought as much. It was the talk of the entire staff and by the end of the school day the line had clearly been drawn. Yennefer had cheated on poor Jaskier with her driver and the staff had sided with him. Besides, he was always so much nicer to everyone, the charmer, while Yennefer was cold and demanding. Now when that familiar Nightingale van dropped Ciri off whomever was present up near the front would give Jaskier soft smiles and waves. If it was that black car, the staff could only look on with scowls of contempt, though Yennefer never seemed to notice. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Already nearing the end of first quarter, the halls and classrooms were decorated with pumpkins and cutouts of ghosts, and each teacher was frantically preparing notes for the parent-teacher conferences that night. Ms. Joan’s file on Ciri was filled with almost nothing but praise. The girl had really come out of her shell and made a good number of friends, as well as continuing to work hard on her homework and in class assignments. She was a little bossy and demanding at times, but they had been working on it. Other than that Ciri was truly a joy to have in class and she couldn’t wait to share it with her parents. The rest of the staff were also excited for Ciri’s conference tonight, though for an entirely different reason. A few mornings ago Tyrielle had asked Yennefer if Jaskier would also be in attendance for the meeting. She had confirmed he was coming, but given the secretary an odd look when asked, which Tyrielle took as an admission of distaste for the musician and shared the information quickly amongst the teachers.

That evening, when the familiar click of heels began echoing through the schools halls, nearly every head peeked out their classroom doors. Ciri was running down the corridor, excitedly pointing out some of the artwork they had hung up earlier that week. Yennefer smiled fondly as the young girl explained the intricacies of the “Kitty Princess Battle” she had drawn. There, standing next to Yennefer, arm hooked through hers and the same soft smile on his face, was the driver.

The driver.

Fervent, silent looks were shared among the teachers and some subtly drifted behind their desks to type out quick emails to the rest of the school, informing them of who had arrived to accompany Yennefer. 

Ms. Joan welcomed the two into her classroom and offered them a moment to have Ciri show them around. She noticed more than a couple heads poking into her classroom, giving bewildered stares at the sight before them. She watched the pair, Yennefer had the same commanding presence as always, even when she was hunched over a small shelf that Ciri was excitedly pulling her favorite books from. The man, Geralt, Ms. Joan reminded herself, looked awkward and out of place among the child-sized things like he was scared if he touched something it would break. When she turned back and saw three new faces in the growing crowd peering through her doorway, she let out a huff, shooed them away and shut the door. 

Twenty minutes later she led the family out of her classroom, directed them down the hall, and gave them both a smile, a packet of papers, and a wave. The moment they were far enough away the lingering staff descended on her like starving dogs, demanding information. With a quick snap of “Don’t you people have jobs? I’ll tell you later.”, she pushed them all away and beckoned in the next family, who gave quizzical looks to the teachers they had watched gather outside the door over the course of the last meeting. 

When Ms. Joan’s door swung shut once more, the crowd all turned to watch the family head towards the music room, questions sitting uncomfortably in their minds. Was Jaskier just a friend of the two? Was he the true secret lover of Yennefer this whole time? Breaking through their thoughts was the echo of running feet, and eyes looked up to see Jaskier slide to a halt in front of the trio, panting and issuing apologies. The teacher’s shot confused looks back and forth with one another. Would there be a confrontation between the two men? None of them thought they could bear to watch the poor musician be beaten to a pulp, as it was obvious who would win in a fight. Instead, Jaskier scooped up Ciri and planted a large kiss on her cheek, spinning her around as he did each morning when dropping her off. Then, still holding her in his arms he leaned in to kiss Yennefer, turned, and kissed Geralt as well. 

What?

All at once each teacher let out a quiet “Oh.” Ms. Nari gave a small whoop as 3 weeks back she had made a bet they were all sleeping together, backing it up with a simple, “Bisexuals can sense one another.” She would definitely be collecting enough to buy the good wine on the way home. They all watched as Ciri excitedly told the three she couldn’t wait to show how good she was at the drums, and smiles spread across all of their faces. Maybe they could just be content with knowing Ciri was a smart, talented and happy little girl? Perhaps they didn’t need to worry themselves with her home life so much? The group dispersed, heading back to their respective classrooms and offices, feeling a little more at peace with the world. 

(The next morning they would also all relish in the realization they no longer had to hate Yennefer for being unfaithful, and could all go back to admitting it was truly unfair just how hot all three of them were.)

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry to anyone who actually works in the child education profession I don't know anything about how schools work.  
> Also Ciri is adopted in this fic, her and geralt having the same anime hair is just a coincidence
> 
> Follow my Witcher blog and talk to me about anything!  
> CardamomDaydream.tumblr.com

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] Rumor Has It](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23349433) by [Azdaema Pods (Azdaema)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azdaema/pseuds/Azdaema%20Pods), [Chantress](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chantress/pseuds/Chantress), [Gondolinpod (Gondolin)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gondolin/pseuds/Gondolinpod), [olive2pod (olive2read)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/olive2read/pseuds/olive2pod)




End file.
